read your blog, and totally forgot that LJ is barred in SH ! so i won't have access to your locked posts neither can i make comments from there.
either way, this is our channel ya :)
finally had a longer night sleep last night. Had dinner with Elis @ this mini-comfy restaurant Des Lys, it was filled with many portrait pics of human faces. Looking into these portraits actually put me in deep thoughts - *wonder* Looking at the smiles on the faces, make me wonder when was my last smile. oh please dun think that i'm suffering here, i'm ok, seriously.
just that i have not been having really engaging conversations since i've been here. engrossed and serious talks take place only when i'm at work, dealing with either the ang mohs or SG clients. with my colleagues, it was often a struggle speaking to - other than the technical terms which i am trying to catch up with. even doing a pep talk is not easy - especially when i can't translate some usual jargons. the attitudes of the people here are really different - taking things from granted, and when challenged, their first reaction is to think of who they can point the arrow to.
oh well.
conversations with the group? superficial. its not all bimbo talk la, there are indeed some intense and deep conversations. but somehow, i still prefer to keep the listening ear and rest my lips. when i told Neh about it, she literally screamed over msn, "U mean u can be quiet?!" haha
well u know me, other than those that i have a strong opinion or thoughts about - i will just answer with a 'yeah', 'agree' ...
after dinner was supposed to be BLING (club) - but since we din manage to get the cab, we decided to pop in to Constellation Bar 1 for drinks. Have always liked constellation since my 1st time to bar 2. Constellation 1 was a first for me last night - it was mini, cosy though. and this is one place which i will want to have a sit by the bar. watching the bartenders do the mix is simply a joy. mind you, not that the bartenders are cute. but they are the kind that realie take bartending seriously man! no flaring or any fuzzy-wuzzy. their movements were smart & neat. each person has its role - not all will do the drink mix, there will always be this 1 guy, diligently cleaning the wine glasses etc. oh did i mention that it's owned by a shanghainese trained in japan? Japan - that's why the very systematic style.
elis shared about her last relationship. it has been 5 mths since she last visited C1. her last visit was on her own, after she broke up :( so we were each reminded of our last relation/crush etc. then i realise - gosh it has already been more than a year since PC !?!? faint
elis is machiam a da-jie. 'tell me your type, i'm sure gona find u a man' - then i shared about my non-criteria (remember?!) oh well.
then it was finally BLING. met this guy - what a metrosexual. 39 yr old, very very well kept. NOT GAY ! all talks about how particular he is about his choice of toiletries, how he maintain his wardrobe, his consistent work out regime.. oh man, i was kinda inspired by him maintaining his sporting lifestyle.
i so missed the school days - SPORTS was a part of life. it was then that i was at least still disciplined to roll myself out of bed either for a swim or something. & now - my god, i will just complain about my flabby fats and yet is doing nothing about it !! i so deserve it right :(
anyways, i ended the night early while the rest continued with SIN & MUSE. back home, i continued with my new knitting project - purple/white scarf. oh yes, caught this new DVD - The Reader. Kate Winslet. i had to watch it twice to understand the story. but it's good. quite abit of rated scenes though. haha. go check it out.
...
i am so missing the SUN in SG. weather is turning for the better here, av min. of 13deg. but the nights are still chilly man.
oh yes, was talking about you with shan the other day. was reminding her that she needs to intro more new guys to you ! her question was, 'but was is her type?'
'sporty & humorous' - i hope i'm right hor.
she mentioned 'intense' to describe you - cos you are not the kind that can just talk (not the noeleen/yanling kind). that's true - nothing wrong with that right?
just that it will make your scope of choice narrower. i replied saying that he that guy is interesting enough, it certainly will keep her rambling !
i guess its the same for me. i miss those conversations with my very close guy friends - cos of the many things we went through together in school, i never had difficulty catching up with wat they are sharing about. but too bad they are all attached now - u know, seldom we will have that much time for chats liao lo ;p
my bro sms me the other day, kinda shocking to receive his msg. but then, disappointed when i realise that he was asking me to help solve his cashflow problem. hai.
then the other day we managed to have a proper chat on msn for the longest time (since last oct!) apparently he broke up with his gf, cos she decided to go back to her old line - KTV gal. simply becos she realie cannot cope with a day job + part-time studies. money no enough.
though he said that he don't agree with her decision. he is also unable to stop her so they decided to part. i thought it was that easy - but he actually wanted to maintain a 'friend' relation with her. that's how he put it - in actual fact, he's keeping her more as a sex buddy. n he said it was mutually agreed.
well, i can't understand him for this. i just felt that he's not over her as yet, obviously he says no. but even if he's trying to meet his own 'demands', he can certainly do so in other ways, why her? 纠缠不清 - which i hate.
he told dad abt the break-up and also told dad abt her background. n worst, he was silly enough to bring her home on 初三. his reason? he sprained his ankle, she sent him home. so might as well stay over for the night. is he stupid or wat. doesn't he understand his dad. this drove dad crazy, they had a big fight the next day, luckily not in front of my mum.
wat's most disheartening of all is that bro can't stop blaming my dad. he is pissed for my dad not being understanding and for judging her. MY GOD! he went on rambling and even passed nasty remarks abt dad's religion - that he is not practicing what he preach.
ARGH - i was speechless. n realie can't be bothered to try to explain to him anymore. this is so painful you know, i just thought, after all these years, with so much that has happened - why has he not grown up and starting seeing things from other perspective. he's perpetually living in the world of his own, with his own standards leaving no room to accept/adapt to other views.
he msn me again yesterday - telling me that his buddy is asking him to help with $$. then he turned around to ask if i can help! wat is this man...... but u know wat, i can't help but doubt him. i'm wondering if he's finding other excuses to borrow more money from him.
in any case, i decided to ignore him for this.
please don't be overly worried for this. i will be fine.
i realised - much as i may appear to be strong i am certainly hopeless when it comes to handling these family matters. vulnerable.
alritey - let me hit back to 'work', starting my mini project to decorate my wall. i collected some left overs from the event set-up, many stickers decals of flowers & butterflies... so i'm patiently cutting them out and hopefully gona create a nice wall of my own :)
happy valentine's day - love you much, miss you much !
